His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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