will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
