I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
