Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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