I love black thongs
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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