Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.