You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
then he tried to convert me to islam
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
