Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize