I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
