Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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