He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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