it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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