We're like a lot better than the average bears
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.