Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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