it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
