gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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