I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
