Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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