ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
