nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
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I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
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The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I love you. Go after that dick
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize