One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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