We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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