My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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