just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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