is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
