My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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