i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
