Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
