I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize