Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
