I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
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We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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