..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Watching her eat just hurts me
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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