He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I skipped work to stalk him.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
