Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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