Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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