I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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