so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize