Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
How's work?
Spinning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
