yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
