I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
