Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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