Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
