Christians are straight up FREAKS
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
