Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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