I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
