omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize