I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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