Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I could fuck to npr.
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