can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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