At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
