I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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