Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
