Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
