and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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