i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
