Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
