hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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