can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize