So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
