I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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