she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize