we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
