I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
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walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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